What a Pickle

A couple of days ago we had another crisis. The Witch came in my room and she stuck out her tongue. Oh man the sight of her tongue (mixed with onion breath- she always has onion breath) was enough to make me want to vomit. Her tongue was covered with red nasty looking bumps. It was disgusting… A normal person would be embarrassed about this “diseased tongue” but as we all know WW is not normal. I swear it seemed like she was proud of it. We had a ward activity and she went around to all of the boys and most of the girls and showed off her tongue. You would think that after the first few people saw it and took several steps back from her that would be enough to stop showing it to everyone, but this attention addict fed off the reactions. Don’t worry it wasn’t contagious and Kace and I are just fine. Turns out WW is allergic to pickles.. Hehe.. Who is allergic to pickles? Here is a confession.. I fantasize about dipping her toothbrush in pickle juice.. Waa haha (that’s an evil laugh in case you didn’t know) I would never do that of course because if she had a serious reaction and needed mouth to mouth I am afraid I wouldn’t be able to save her. Before you judge me let me tell you that I hate onions! I just couldn’t do it.
Crisis number two.. we were in the kitchen and Kacee went to open the fridge… guess who was standing right there and basically had her foot taken off? Well I am PRETTY sure that her foot was almost taken off based off of the reaction the witch had. But don’t worry I was quick to act and I grabbed a bag of frozen veggies so she could put them on her ankle. See what a hero I am?? I don’t even think she saw me laughing at her behind her back! That was my good deed of the week.

Marley

XOXOXO

Ear-ritating

When Kacee and I first moved into our apartment we had some girl-talk with our new “friendly” roommate THE WITCH. One of the first things that she let us know is that she has ear problems. She is always having earaches and is constantly a victim (I swear I could almost hear a violin playing while we were listening to her sob story) We had no idea what we were in for though.. You see, the witch likes to have her alarm go off around 6 in the morning, she blasts her alarm and the same 7 seconds of a song will repeat for about an hour. When we first moved in the song was This is my now by Jordan Sparks. I think I would have liked that song if she hadn’t ruined it for me… The next song that we had the pleasure of hearing every morning was I don’t want to miss a thing by Aerosmith. I HATE that song anyway so listening to a little section of it over and over was almost unbearable! The song that we are currently on is a Lion King song. You may be thinking to yourself.. Oh yes a Lion King song would be a nice change.. And it really would be if perhaps she had chosen Hakuna Matata or I just can’t wait to be king! Or even, can you feel the love tonight.. But no what Lion king song did she choose? That ANNOYING opening song! AHH zabinwa awwetze wah wah.. I don’t even know what they are saying or what the name of that song is but that’s how it sounds to me. Can you imagine hearing AHH zabinwa awwetze wah wah over and over at 6 in the morning. The real kicker is that she doesn’t even get out of bed until sometime after I leave for work. It is pointless for her to have her alarm going off. We have tried to talk to her about it and she always tells us her sob story about her ears and how she can’t hear anything. WW did have to get tubes put in her ears and OH was that an ordeal! She asked our poor home teacher Max to take her. He came to our apartment around 5 in the morning to pick her up. He was knocking at the door at the time that WW told him to be there. Of course she wasn’t awake when he knocked and I had to get out of bed and wake her up! Max took her to get the procedure done and then sat at our apartment with her ALL DAY until Kacee got home. Talk about fulfilling your calling!! Sometime after that WW decided that she would prefer to shower in mine and Kacee’s shower! At first we just bit our tongues and tried to ignore it.. But come on.. That is just gross.. We can’t stand her anyway so it’s hard to ignore her hair all over our shower. Finally I told her that she needs to start taking showers in her own shower. She told me that its easier on her ears to shower in ours and that she needs to shower in there. Well we all know that I wasn’t having that! I moved her stuff back to her shower and told her that she needs to stay in there. That was the end of that. Yes I know.. I am hard core.. Step off this or I will mess you up.

Marley
XOXOXO

Tasty

Here is a question for you … Let’s say that you were watching tv and your roommate plus two other boys were with you. You were watching something that no one else wants to watch and your pride is a little hurt so you refuse to change the channel. (Who doesn’t enjoy a good power struggle?) The two boys suggest that your roommate physically snatch the remote right out of your hands. Your roommate obeys their command and comes towards you. What do you do? A: Give the remote to your roommate B: Shove the remote up your shirt and try to play keep away C: Grab your roommates hand and bite as hard as you can D: None of the above, You are a normal person and will watch what the majority wants to watch. See answers below:
If you chose A- come on you came this far into the battle don’t just give it up you sissy.
If you chose B- that’s the spirit, nothing like a healthy game of keep away.
If you chose C- Your name is Wicked Witch of Washington (Poor Kacee…)
If you chose D- You can be my friend.